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Meddling In-Laws
There is a difference
Between
Meddling In-laws
And
In-laws simply wanting
To be helpful.
"My
mother-in-law is so irritating! She always has to try putting her
two-cents in!"
"My father-in-law acts as if I'm not good
enough for his little girl. I'm tired of being made to feel as if I'm
a failure."
"My
mother-in-law continually corrects me on cooking, cleaning... Even
how I raise my children!"
"My
father-in-law thinks that he is the only one capable of fixing things
around the house. I'm not an idiot!"
Okay,
so you get the picture... And, many of you found yourselves saying
that you could easily relate to the above.
So,
yes, there certainly are meddling, annoying, and frustrating in-laws
out there! Just as there are equally 'unsettling' son and
daughter-in-laws.
But,
step back.
Are
they simply being obnoxious 'for the sake of it'?
Is
that their personality and how they treat others? (If so, then do not
take it personally.)
Now,
for the option that people find the most difficult to accept.
Are
they correct and you are simply being overly-sensitive or
overly-defensive?
Face it... They have certainly been around
longer than you have. And, while not always the case, they might, in
fact, know more than you do regarding different matters. They learned
from trial and error. Perhaps they simply want to help you to avoid
making some of the same mistakes which they had made, in their
younger days.
Or, they might wish to show you a different way to
get something done.
Did
they do a good job raising your spouse? And, even if not, were their
intentions good? Do they believe that they did well, as a parent?
And,
finally, if the same advice came from your mom or dad, or a friend,
would you have the same reaction?
As
for the second statement at the top of this piece, the fact is that
many parents will never think that their child's spouse is
worthy of their offspring. Simply a fact. If you already have
children, can you honestly say that there will ever be someone who
will love your child, as you do? Probably not. Instead of being hurt
and angry, why not try assuaging their doubts about you. Let them see
how loving you are. Let them know that you are doing your best to
help support your family, on many levels. Ask them how easy or
difficult it was when they first married.
Now,
there certainly are some in-laws who simply do want to annoy you. Who
do not have good intentions. Who are miserable people.
Sorry!
You will have to decide with your spouse as to how much time to spend
with them. - Perhaps, you will need to pretend that they are an
annoying customer or co-worker. And, you will then have a better
handle, hopefully, as to how to handle their attitudes.
Bottom-line,
they are your spouse's parents. And you owe it to all involved to
figure out there motives and then an action plan for dealing with
them.
'Nuff
said!
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